Friday, October 30, 2009

Thursday, October 22, 2009

So, I have been keeping track of what I have been eating for about 2 weeks- no diet started yet per sayu or exercise---- I know I have to start that too, but just being mindful of what I eat, I have managed to drop just over 5 lbs in 2 weeks- yay me!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Happy Thursday

Time is flying past, its thursday and the middle of October already..... How did that happen. I caved and turned on the heat last night, but this time it is still on! Over the last week or so, I would turn on the heat in the evening and turn it off before going to bed, not this week, too chilly!

Have to remember to call maintenance to turn on my fireplace- I don't know how to do it myself. Have to also remember to call & complain to AT&T. I have a wireless router that we got about a yr ago, and over the last month, we are getting multiple daily errors and the internet is not available- can be as much as a 1/2 hour at a time. Frigging frustrating!

Bosses day is tomorrow- we are having snacks in the office (shocker, I know. Sometimes I think its all we do!), I have to figure out what to bring/make.

Enough procrastinating, time to buckle down to work, catcha later!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


Have an invite to a family party on 10/31... I know a family party, but my mom's side of the family doesn't get together nearly as often as we should.

invite says dress festive..... I checked out some websites to see what options I have out there in my budget; then mom had an idea.

If we end up going, how about as the newest team on The Biggest Loser? We can get the official shirts online and look the part.

Is that too corney???
Drive into work SUCKED! Torrential downpour does not mix well with the highway

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Advance warning pity post ahead........

There are 3 little words that I don't like to say aloud. I AM FAT. Not just fat, but according to the medical field I am morbidly obese. I am 30 yrs old and I am on hypertension medication and have been for about 5 years. I have a sickeningly sedentary life style and I am finding myself scarily close to 300 lbs.

I have never been someone who know what it is like to be slender or skinny. I have always been fat- from elementry school on. I grew up in a culture centered around food. Food based rewards, comfort foods when you are sad/down, snacking when bored or watching TV, and had it drilled into my head that I had to clean my plate at meal times. Part of my family (mom & brother included) had superfast metabolisms when they were young (till about 20), so they could eat what ever they wanted & didn't have to worry about gaining. I ate the same way with a much different result.

I have come to the realization that I no longer like seeing photos of myself. I think I am skinnier than I am and I HATE to see how I really look to others. This summer my cousin got married and I thought it was a success that I was only in 2 of about 300 photos of the wedding/reception. I found a really pretty dress, but when I saw photos of me I hated them. There was the devil on my shoulder whispering that it would have been even better if I wasn't in any of them. Holiday photos with family, I stand at the back of the group trying to hide as much of me as I can. If I can, I try and avoid having photos taken of me. We had a department picnic last week and to avoid having my picture taken, I turned around at the last minute. This is not a healthy frame of mind, I realize that, but I can't help it sometimes.

I have tried many diets, but I don't have the sticking power I need. I tried and had decent success with Atkins, but it was hard- I have a huge addiction to carbs & bread products..... guess why Atkins didn't work. I tried a diet last year called the Flat Belly Diet and did ok, as long as I followed the pre planned meals to the T..... not so hot for me.

It's not as if I don't know what things to do, what things to eat- I am a smart person, but smarts does not translate- with me anyway- into eating how I should.

While I eat breakfast everyday, it is usually buying breakfast on the way to the office from either McDonalds or DD. We don't have a cafe in the building that I work in, so I bring my lunch daily- not always the healthiest choices. Over the last year, I have done an insane amout of eating out- and not caring how bad the food was for me that I was ordering. I am making an effort to eat at home more, but I don't have all together healthy options in the house all the time. I sadly admit, I don't cook much from scratch- sometimes it seems too much at the end of a long day at work.

I have a few fitness DVD's, resistance bands, a stability ball, yoga mat, light dumbells (5lbs) and a deck of yoga moves.... but do I use them right now? NO. Right now a gym membership will not be in the cards.

I am really not sure where to go from here. Even though I would qualify for gastric surgury (omg) that is not an option for me.

Things HAVE to change, starting today. I am going to commit myself to first start recording everything I eat. I am going do my darndest to also calculate the calories and such of what I eat. Once I have a true picture of how bad it is, I will have a starting point and will start the process of reversing the damage that I have inflicted on myself.

End of the pity post.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Rainy Night

I am making a few extra bucks tonight and spending the evening with my best girl. Pat & his new girlfriend (major thumbs up be the way) decided to go out to dinner since the drive in wasn't going to happen.

I agreed to come babysit for a few hours.... real hardship- my munchkin, spending time w/ the family dog, and being able to watch the huge effing flat screen TV w/sat tv.... dad & step mom are out of town for the weekend.

Went shoe shopping today and got 2 pairs, 3 pairs of trouser socks, and a pair of pads for the balls of your feet all for $45. Ended up with 2 pairs of Mary Jane shoes... one is heels and one pair are flats that feel like sneakers. Not too shabby.

After the shopping excursion this morning, took mom out to lunch at Red Robin. It was good, but ate too much. Mom said this afternoon she wants a comfortable pair of slippers for christmas...... hmmm now comes the fun part. What kind to get her???

Maddy is calling and SpongeBob is singing in the background. Time to go. Have a good weekend everyone!

Thursday, October 1, 2009